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How to come out of a toxic relationship

man giving his heart but shadow shows it is sham and he want to pierce heart, crosshatched image

Often, we tend to get into relationships that end in heartbreaks. Some fall into toxic relationships without even noticing it simply because they blindly fell in love, probably, due to an infatuation. A toxic relationship is characterized by mannerisms of the toxic partner that are emotionally and, not frequently, physically damaging to their partner. Signs that show that a partner is toxic are when they are self-centered or condescending, wanting to show dominance and control. People tend to want to leave these relationships and this is how to;

Seek assistance.
Help in this case may come from anyone. Maybe a friend that you confide in and one who is not quick to condemning you and judging you. I would prefer talking to a family member, an older one, who is experienced and has your happiness and best interests at hand. Some toxic relationships need professional help and involving a third party, say a therapist, would be a great choice. Ask them to advice you on the suitable and strategic steps to take on the issue. :

Let your feelings known.
It is very crucial for you to express your feelings to your toxic partner, that is after thorough evaluation of the situation. Toxic partners may have different reactions and responses towards what you aired. Some may be sensitive while others may get verbally or physically violent. Know your partner and how to approach them. In as much as they are toxic, avoid hurting their feelings or triggering their temper. Things might get messy. Make sure both of you are safe.In cases of sensitivity, right down your points in a note, text message or email. This gives your partner time to think and respond appropriately.
Keep in mind that you are not in control of how they might respond, but you can control how you approach the person.

I would try as hard to avoid blame games or victimizing my partner. Personalise your statements. Even if they are the reason you feel the way you feel, don’t make them feel cornered or pressured. They might become angry or over-defensive or might understand you and choose to make ammends. Irregardless of their reaction, expressing your feelings is vital in making your decision.

Make up your mind.
It is now a perfect time for you to make a decision based on what you feel, putting into consideration how your partner responded when you expressed yourself. Did she become defensive? Did he become violent? Did they ignore you or try making themselves righteous? If that was the case, I would advice you to retract from the relationship and make yourself better.
If they understood your words, took them to heart and agreed with you that there is an issue that needs attention and has to be eliminated for the relationship to work, then that relationship is worth fighting for. Involve a third party. Maybe try therapy and if the person is understanding, tell them yourself what you want them to do and do not allow them to go back to their toxic behaviours.

Stay put.
Change is a process and is not simply a decision. Often, toxic relationships end with one person leaving. After a while, it is normal for you to miss someone. The human brain tends to remember the good times and leave out the bad ones in a relationship hence missing someone even more. In this case, you may get the urge to let the person back into your life but remember, you made a decision to leave them after a long thoughtful process. Stick to your decision, it is many a times the right decision and it was to better you and your life. It may be helpful to have a supportive friend, family or professional keep you on track.

5.Stay strong and positive.
Staying positive has you believing in the choice you made. Practice self care be it you made a decision to leave or to mend the relationship. Spend time with people who make you feel happy and secure, do something that makes you happy.
Having a ‘ni life’ or ‘Irrizwhatirriz’ attitude is not being positive. That is an overlap of the feelings you have inside you. That is just a way to hide your harshly true feelings. I would not advice having such an attitude but I would tell you to get someone who you can pour your heart out to and let them hold you accountable of your decision. Find someone to help you move on and bring positivity into your life.

In conclusion, toxicity is all about damage emotionally, physically and mentally. Some people do not realise they are in a toxic relationship because they are familiar to such treatment and it becomes a normality. To avoid toxic relationships, get to know a character before rushing into a relationship.
If you are in a relationship that causes anguish, get out. We come in relationships to grow, not to live in misery.


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